When you’re very small, but too big to go to the nursery or Children’s Church in the basement, you need certain items to keep you quiet during an hour long Christian Reformed service.
If you’re a girl, you have a small purse for the storage of these items. Most likely, the purse contains necessities like tissues as well.
To keep you entertained, your Sunday purse holds tiny books of Bible stories, a baggie of Cheerios and a delicate cloth and porcelain doll named Church Baby. You’re allowed to play with her while the minister talks, but if you start clinking her feet together, it’s back into the purse she goes.
You know that Church Baby is special – she belonged to your mom when she was little. That means that she’s important, and it’s a pretty big deal that you get to touch her at all.
Of course, the church candy is almost more exciting. You know that at some point, probably right before the sermon starts, the nice man who always sits in the pew in front of you will turn around and offer you a treat. Sometimes it’s just a peppermint, but if you’re lucky, he’ll have Lifesavers.
The challenge is not to break the candy with your teeth, but only suck on it so that it lasts until it’s time to sing again. You don’t usually make it.
The church candy and Church Baby are signs that you’re growing up. If you enjoy these childish things without making distracting noise during the service, you must be a very grown up girl indeed. Not to mention the fact that you have a purse.
Church Baby! I never had one, but I did get candy from certain elders. Of course, I think your Church Baby is very special.
You should have had a Church Baby. It would suit you:)
Church Babies for atheists, what will they think of next?
Everything has a market;)